The Introvert’s Guide To Our Gym
Welcome to your guide for working out when the very thought of small talk makes you want to fake a hamstring injury ✨
The Golden Hours (When Normal People Have Lives)
8pm-10pm Weeknights: The gym enters what we call "The Twilight Zone." It's just you, the equipment, and maybe three other people who also understand that peak hours are for extroverts and masochists. The weight room echoes beautifully. If you accidentally fart during a squat, no one will be around to hear it. Paradise.
12pm-3pm on Sunny Weekends: While everyone else is frolicking in the sun, you could be here working on next year's Summer bod. So what if we have gorgeous rivers, hikes, and purple mountain majesties at our fingertips. Nothing compares to the beauty and peace of working out alone.
Your Personal Fortresses of Solitude
The Hydromassage Bed: It's basically a socially acceptable way to lie down in public without anyone bothering you. 10 minutes of getting pummeled by water jets while staring at the ceiling, contemplating existence. No eye contact required. No conversation necessary. Just you and the rhythmic violence of hydrotherapy.
PEMF Mat: Possibly the most magical space within our gym lies behind this curtain on an automatic recliner, gazing at the moon while lights dance on the ceiling. Add in the fact that your body is simultaneously healing itself at light speed, and it becomes the perfect stakeout spot.
Red Light Therapy: Cosplay as a pearl when you close the clamshell of our Red Light bed, entering into your own sensory deprivation chamber. You can treat this as your own personal escape pod from anyone who asks you how your day is going. Refill your social battery while recharging your body's cells.
Vibragenix Machine: Another good hiding place. Slip into this room shake off anyone around you while boosting your circulation and flushing out waste and toxins. Pro tip: If you really want to make sure people leave you alone, you can blast the harmonic frequencies to ward off anyone within earshot.
The Ultimate Introvert Power Move
Here's another beautiful secret: Our Spivi spin class room lies often lies vacant throughout the day. Empty. Just waiting.
You can literally have a group fitness experience with zero group. You've got a virtual instructor, you can pick the ride length, and pedal like you're being chased by social obligations. If you're not into the Spivi experience, you can just crank up your headphones and be your own instructor in a room to yourself. Boss move.
Why This Is Actually Brilliant
Research shows that social anxiety in exercise settings is real and can prevent people from working out. By knowing when and where to go, you're not being antisocial – you're being strategic, and not letting people get in the way of your goals.
Studies indicate that worrying about body image and social judgment can significantly impact exercise frequency. We've always been a judgment-free zone, but flying under the radar can offer another level of peace of mind.
Plus, research confirms that any physical activity helps reduce social anxiety over time. So exercising alone at odd hours is its own therapy. You're welcome.
Your Action Plan
Start with the recovery equipment: Less intimidating than the weight room, more purposeful than hiding in your car.
Graduate to off-peak equipment use: 9pm deadlifts hit different when you don't have to wait for the bar.
Master the Spivi solo session: All of the sweat, none of the people.
Remember: Everyone's too worried about themselves to judge you. Who knows maybe you'll even get tempted to join a group class later on. Probably one without talking like yoga though, let's be real.
The Bottom Line
We all come here for our own reasons, and we're allowed to keep those reasons to ourselves. And just keep to ourselves in general.
That being said, you can find whatever you're looking for here. Maybe you'll accidentally stumble across a workout buddy that hates small talk as much as you do.
Quietly appreciating you,
Your West Coast Fitness Family
P.S. - If you're reading this during peak hours surrounded by people, we respect your bravery. Also, the hydromassage bed is probably free. Just saying.
